Letters from an Aspiring Sous #28
Smash patty breakfast sandwich
The first time Alex and I made the sticky barbecue chicken from last week’s newsletter, it was finger-licking good. So good, in fact, that I licked the barbecue sauce right off my fingers when I was done. Unfortunately, and almost immediately, I started to gag. I thought I was going to throw up and curled into the fetal position on the kitchen floor. Had she poisoned me?! Was this my Jacob Snell moment (we’re rewatching Ozark right now on Netflix)? It turns out that I had inadvertently poisoned myself. But in order to explain why, I have to go back to the beginning, thirty-some-odd years ago.
You see, my dad was a chronic nail biter in his youth — you can still catch him gnawing on the occasional hang nail if you keep a close enough watch. “It’s like blood in the water and I’m a shark,” he claims. By and large, however, he kicked the habit prior to the birth of my older sister, thirty-seven years ago. I’ve been biting my nails as long as I can remember, as have each of my sisters. So while researchers aren’t sure if nail biting is genetic, how much more evidence do we really need?
Science also can’t seem to produce a definitive answer as to why we all bite our nails — and there are a small army of us: it’s estimated that 20-30% of the U.S. population are nail biters. For my dad, it was a response to stress. Although, research has shown that nail biting most often occurs simply out of boredom or while toiling away on a challenging task. For me, it’s actually enjoyable. THERE, I’VE SAID IT. I actually enjoy biting my nails! There is something distinctly satisfying about it. Believe it or not, there’s research to support this understanding as well, that when we bite our nails — a form of grooming — there’s a pleasure response (at least there was for the rats in this study). But I also submit that biting my nails is borderline disgusting, Alex abhors it, and I would like to stop.
While some habits are hard to form, others are hard to break. My father miraculously found that a nail clipper mitigated his urge to chomp. Others put socks on their hands, apparently. There’s also the Pavlok, a wearable device that requires you to manually shock yourself each time you perform an unwanted behavior. It’s what’s called aversion therapy. The problem with aversion therapy is that it’s difficult to sustain. Rather quickly, we just stop shocking ourselves. It turns out that we respond much better to rewards than we do punishment. I had to find this out the hard way after slathering two coats of an incredibly bitter-tasting nail polish on my hands and then accidentally licking it all off (I thought two coats would be more effective). I can’t imagine the manufacturer imagined anyone would do that, as it nearly gave me a heart attack. Luckily, I had a cardiologist-in-training standing over me perplexed. What I have found to be momentarily successful is a nail file — replacing one form of grooming with another.
Now not all bad habits do I intend to break. High cholesterol breakfasts for dinner — that’s not going anywhere anytime soon. And so this week we’re cooking up the greatest new addition to your breakfast sandwich repertoire, which you will undoubtedly want to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. This is Molly Baz’s smash patty breakfast sandwich and the recipe below will produce two scrumptious sandos for you and a loved one. We’re big fans (Alex just asked for her new cookbook for her birthday).
Smash patty (bad habit) breakfast sandwich
Ingredients
1/2 white onion
2 handfuls arugula
1/4 cup mayonnaise
Hot sauce
2 English muffins or buns
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
Kosher salt, black pepper
6 ounces pork breakfast sausage (loose or links)
2 slices American cheese
2 large eggs
1 tablespoon butter
Step 1. Mix the mayonnaise and hot sauce to taste in a bowl. Thinly slice the onion into paper thin rings — the thinner, the better — a mandolin would be perfect here. Toss half of the onions in a bowl with a pinch of salt and a few dashes of hot sauce to lightly pickle. Set aside.
Step 2. Cut open and remove the inside of your sausage links and using your hands, work into two evenly shaped balls. Place balls inside a folded piece of parchment paper and flatten them with a heavy skillet until about 1/4 inch thick.
Step 3. Heat a large cast iron skillet over medium heat. Lightly spread both sides of your English muffin with the mayo mixture and arrange mayo-side down until golden brown, about 3-4 minutes. Transfer to a plate.
Step 4. Increase heat to medium high and add vegetable oil. Once the oil just begins to smoke, arrange your sausage patties on skillet and press down firmly with spatula. Cover patties with remaining onions, season with salt and let cook undisturbed until bottom of patties are browned and well caramelized, about 3-5 minutes. Flip patties over with onions now underneath, turn off heat and top each with a slice of cheese. Cover skillet with a lid.
Step 5. While cheese melts, beat two large eggs with salt and pepper and scramble in a separate pan with butter. With a rubber spatula, pull eggs from outside of pan toward center, tipping pan to allow new egg to run towards the outside and continuously moving eggs back to center until you have fluffy, slightly wet curds. Should take no more than 30-45 seconds.
Step 6. Slather more of that hot mayo onto your buns, place a sausage patty on the bottom and top with scrambled eggs. A handful of arugula & pickled onions and you’re done!
